"Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weakness, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
When we go through things, especially bad things it's easy for us to panic, react impulsively, and sometimes fly off the handle. I have a bad habit of doing that especially in situations that are totally unexpected. It starts with fear, than panic sets in and I become full of anger. I just had an experience like this recently, actually just yesterday. My family and I went to church. It was a good service, my friend and her children joined us and the preacher talked about repentance and tolerance. If I remember correctly, he was referencing Revelations 2. Anyway, he made it a point that as Christians we can't have one foot in and one foot out in our faith. We can't live for the world and follow Jesus at the same time. If we have sin in our lives than we need to keep repenting, confessing and seeking God's forgiveness. We also cannot condone or support another persons sin, we have to recognize all sin is against God and not for Him. Well with that being said, I couldn't help but to feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit for quite a few things I struggle with and I felt really defeated. I couldn't wait for the service to be over so I could get some fresh air and talk to God.
My husband decided he wanted to do something kind for my friend and her children. They had just moved to a new state and were starting over so they didn't have quite a lot of things they needed yet, so shoes for her boys were on his list. As we are in the car driving to Walmart, my husband asked my oldest daughter what did she learn in Kids Ministry today, she couldn't remember so he decided to ask her what are all the reasons she loves mommy and Him. He wanted to engage with her in a positive way and asking thought invoking questions has always been his strong suit. Some of the things she said were:
-Because you guys take care of me.
-Because you guys love me and keep me safe.
-Because you make sure sissy and I have everything we need.
That last one was nice to hear. My husband works all week to the point he neglects his own needs to be able to provide for his family. Although he gets tired, and he feels worn down most days, hearing her say that put a smile on his face because it was confirmation that he wasn't working so hard for nothing, and that it also showed his family how much he loves us. I thought all of it was so sweet for her to say. She thought hard and she thought deep, revealing her truth to us.
We pulled into Walmart. All of us were super excited to help my friend out, so excitement filled the air. We got inside and we started looking at the shoes in the shoe section. My friend met us there and her boys stayed with my husband and I, while she took her daughter and my oldest to the beauty section. As my husband and I were helping the little boys find shoes they liked and having them try them on, my oldest daughter came running up to us frantically, crying, shaking, hyperventilating. Instantly I started to panic and my thoughts had me believe something very terrible just happened. When we asked her what happened she started talking a mile a minute, "mommy I took something and this guy came up to me." Before she could finish what she was saying my husband took off running through the store. I don't think he understood what she was saying at first, all he heard was a man approached her and his protective instincts kicked in and he was gone. As she was telling me what happened, the first thing I thought to myself was, "Oh no I failed my child, I failed as a Mother." I was so hurt and scared, and worried all at the same time and to be honest I wanted to scream my head off at her right than and there. My husband waved me over to the corner where I see him talking to a man, so I started pushing the cart with everyone in tow behind me. I felt so ashamed that my child had stolen something that I didn't even want to speak to him, but a part of me knew I had to.
He was very understanding. He was very human about everything and told us he didn't call the police because he sees my husband go in their daily spending money on things for the house, and also, he didn't want to ruin the holidays for anyone. He let my husband and I know that my daughter apologized profusely when he confronted her, and that she told him that was her first time doing it. We thanked him and headed to check out. I felt stuck, I felt trapped inside my head. I didn't know what to say or how to deal with this situation appropriately. As we are checking out, my friend who is also a Christian said, "This was God's grace that that man didn't call the police." And it dawned on me, it sure was God's grace and mercy because it could've been a lot worse. But it wasn't. We got home and I still was trying so hard to contain my anger. I felt like I was going to explode, but a part of me knew that wouldn't be the right way to handle this. As my husband sat down and talked with my daughter I found myself pacing, feeling suffocated by trying to not scream like a maniac. And that's when God reminded me of His Grace. The Holy Spirit kept whispering to my heart, "I give you grace everyday." Over and over again, saying the same thing, until it clicked. I mess up every single day, I still have sin in my life, and I am no better than she is. If God shows me grace every single day, than that is what I need to do for my child.
As they finished talking, I decided I needed to just go get some fresh air to clear my head, so I grabbed the car keys quietly. Before I could reach the front door I felt prompted to say something to her. But I knew I had to remain calm, so I calmy said, "I am very disappointed in you, I am upset and I am hurt. But I still love you and that will never change. There will be consequences for your actions. This isn't me being mean, this is me correcting you out of love, because I love you." I seen the tears well up in her eye's and she nodded. Out the door I went. I tried to call a few people to try to get some advice on this but nobody answered. I felt discouraged but a part of me had hope.
When I got back home I sat on the couch, ate my food and kind of spaced out for a bit. Just the shock of it all was making it hard for me to comprehend that my child would actually do something like that. We found out that a good friend of hers told her that she stole something before and didn't get caught so she encouraged my daughter to do the same thing. I wanted so badly to be mad at that friend, but I couldn't she was just a child too and what right to I have to be mad at her. My child knew it was wrong, and did it anyway. I couldn't blame anyone but her. My mother in-law called me back. She is such a sweet and graceful woman. She raised 4 kids on her own and she had much experience in the "kids" department.
We shed a few tears together, and she encouraged me so much. She reminded me that nobody can be a "perfect" parent and that all we can do is deal with the issues that come up when they do and move past them. As much as we want to control our children's future, we can't. They are going to make mistakes over and over again. They are going to make their own choices regardless of the morals, values, and wisdom we instill in them. We have no control over that. But what we can do is stay consistent, not just with teaching them the right way, but staying consistent in discipline as well. She told me that we handled it appropriately and that God was right when He reminded me of all His grace He gives me daily.
This is a learning process for all of us, this thing we call life. But we have the greatest teacher of them all, God. Guiding us, reminding us, encouraging us, and correcting us in love. And for that I am grateful. God showed me what it means to give grace just as He gives it. The outcome is much different, but it is good. So I just want to praise God today, I want to thank Him for His grace and mercy He so willfully gives to us all daily. And for always helping me when I need it the most. Father you truly are good. If you are feeling like a failure today, or if you feel defeated as a parent. You are not. Stop trying to measure up to perfection because it is impossible. We as parents are still growing and learning to, and that is okay. God gave you your children because He knew they needed YOU as their parent. So when those moments come, and you feel defeated, call on God and seek His wisdom, He will guide your paths and show you grace.
Blessings,
-Chelsey
Awesome word !!